My son is a junior in high school and is new to his school and basketball is his passion. He participated in Fall Basketball and goes to every open gym, but when the team played their games, he barely played. The tryouts for his team are just a month away and I want to make sure he gets a fair chance of making the team, but I don't want to be one of those whining and complaining parents who annoys the coach. I think he is an above average player, but I am his parent, so I am sure I am biased. What do I do?
First of all, being someone who shared those same dreams as your son has now, I can appreciate his zest for the game. But here are a few ideas. First, he needs to take the initiative here, not you. Try to explain to him that he is the new kid on the block and he will have to still prove himself for awhile and the first step in doing that is having your son go to the coach and asking him, based on what he saw from his play in the fall, what are the things he should concentrate on improving on in the next month leading up to tryouts. Next, have him ask the coach what type of things he is looking for in tryouts that will set him apart from players with similar abilities. Right now his goal is to make the team and get his foot in the door. Then, any good coach will see in the day to day of practice what kind of player each kid is. Game experience is great, but once you get to high school, coaches can see who can do what very quickly and after a few scrimmages and games, if he really is as good as you think he is, he will get his playing time. But let him fight this battle unless the coach is doing something deliberately to block his progress. If the coach blows him off when he goes to him for advice, then maybe you can talk to the coach, but make sure you do it at a time that is convenient for the coach, and a time when other players or your son are not around. The minute anyone sees you in his office, you son will be labeled in the ways you fear. Even if he gets cut from a team, you have to turn that into a positive as well. We as parents are biased and we sometimes see thing in tunnel vision, but most of the time that is really our way of showing them how much we love them. The odds of basketball being the end all for anyone is less then 5%, but that doesn't mean it cant be a part of your life. I played on a team that was 1- 19 in high school, but yet went on the coach high school teams that were ranked in the top 5 in NY State. My own girls will never be basketball players at a level higher the recreation, but they all enjoy watching the games, keeping score and being a part of the team. Basketball might be his dream for now, but just remember, Michael Jordan got cut from his first high school tryouts and he turned out OK as well. Bottom line, and I know I have my parents to thank for this, let him fight his own fight, in the long run, he is the one that will benefit the most.
Good luck,
Bill