When playing games or sports with your kids, do you let your kids win, try about 50% or go all out? For years, I've taken one of the first two approaches, fearing that if I did my best my kids would quickly lose interest.

As my kids get older, though (8 and 11), I've learned that they would rather lose with me really trying than having me let them win. They now call me on this whenever they think I'm not trying to win.

The good news for me is that really competing with my kids has several advantages to the let-them-win approach:

• It's much more fun for all of us.
• The kids take it as a challenge, and raise their level of play.
• The kids are looking forward to the day when they will win in 1 on 1, golf, tennis, etc.
• The kids take pride in their good moments, knowing they did it against me when I was trying.
• The kids have more respect for my modest athletic ability, and are more open to the teaching of certain fundamentals as a result.
• Learning how to lose is a good thing for everyone, and something all kids will experience and need to know how to handle.

This transition wasn't easy for me, but now that I've made it, I wonder what took me so long. I look forward to many more years of such competitions.